Mad Libs

This is what happens when immature adult human beings do madlibs. These are the answers my roomie Devs gave to the "My Dream Man" madlib, and my answers to the "Love Letter 2" mad lib. Enjoy.

My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very Plump and Pink. He should have a physique like Tom Hardy, a profile like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and the intelligence of a/an Panda. He must be polite and must always remember to Fuck my Penis, to tip hisVibrator and to take my Lips when crossing the street. He should move Thrusting, have a/an Fuzzy voice, and should always dress Delicately. I would also like him to be a/an Naked dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper Swift nothings into my Ass and hold my Supple Calzone. I know a/an Toaster is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Val Kilmer.

Dear Sweetheart,

I lay awake all Vagina thinking of you, your Putrid smile, and our Dildo in the Bathroom. Potently, I recall our meeting, how my heart Boned with Boob when I first saw you. How Wrinkly you looked in that Orange Penis and those two Shiny Scarveson your Assholes!

I cherished every moment we were together and was Cuddly when our date came to a close. I can`t say how Clammily I regret spilling Cum on your Taint; you were Grumpy about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you`re Grumpy.

You`re Lumpy most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of Chocolate Sauce, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as Tampons. Your lips are like succulent Chicken Nuggets. Your hair is Purple like a Squirrel on a summer`s day.

I can`t wait to Spank with you again. Write soon.

Enticingly,

Your Friend

Edit: Oh god I can't stop doing these. This one just... just came out so well. This is the "Personal Ad" mad lib. I am a pimp.

I enjoy long, Sweaty walks on the beach, getting Squirted in the rain and serendipitous encounters with Mushrooms. I really like piña coladas mixed with Cum, and romantic, candle-lit Panties. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Tom Hardy. I travel frequently, especially to The Bathroom, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Pimp.) I am looking for Lube and beauty in the form of a Nigerian goddess. She should have the physique of Sally Struthers and the Bosom of Devon. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my Balls. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 3.51days ago, and I have since become more Pimply.

Edit 2.0: Oh god oh god....one more. I inadvertently wrote a love letter from one stuffed animal to another. This is "Love Letter 4"

Dear Hedgie,

You are extremly Beefy and I Hump you! I want kiss your Penis 135 times. You make my Dildo burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Drunkenly stared at you and fell in love. Will you Slap out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, They are just jealous.

Yours forever, Horace The Hippo