Sex and Batman

Yeah, hey Mr. T (not that Mr. T) sorry I couldn't be there today. Thing is, I stayed up all last night making a "Songs for Strippers" playlist, writing soft-core smut (that will, of course, become hard-core smut) and watching Batman. I also watched some porn. But it wasn't Batman porn. As I'm sure you can tell, all of this has left me rather worn out, and just the thought of listening to you pretentiously drone on makes me very sleepy. Imagine the real thing. Do you really want me there if all I'm going to be doing is snoring and drooling all over myself? You probably do. That's because you're a tool. I, however, am going to opt out and get some sleep. See you in a couple of days.

This is what it would be like if people were honest about their excuses for not going to work/class.

I did stay up all night

I made a stripper playlist

I wrote smut

I watched Batman

I watched porn

I am now tired as fuck and don't want to do much of anything.

I may or may not go in today

If I don't, I'll probably say I have a migraine or a stomach bug. Nobody has sympathy for fatigue due to Batman and sex-related activities. *heavy sigh*

Why do you make me lie, world? Why?

I'm probably going in today. FML.

Edit: I didn't go in today. Thing is, I was going to. It's what an adult person should do. I managed to stay up until noonish, and then I made the mistake of sitting on my bed. I fell asleep so fast it would make you cry. I woke up some four hours later, said fuck, and realized I couldn't really send a "this is why I didn't show up today" e-mail at that point. FML x20.